


White laptop

by Anonymous



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Child Abuse, Gen, Non-Sexual Submission, Other, POV Second Person, Psychological Horror, Service Submission, Submission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 22:14:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29161008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A cloudy image has haunted your mind since you can remember, and you've forgotten that it's real.
Collections: Anonymous





	White laptop

It’s there. 

Blue, skin, skin, skin, skin, and tiny white underwear. There it is in all its glory. You quickly look away, you don’t have to look, every detail revealing itself from the fog. The blue background, the valleys and curves of fat and muscle, the shiny white fabric at the bottom of the image. 

“Did you know that he had this?” 

You cannot look into your birth mother’s eyes. Her eyes, most likely judging as she hunches in front of the tiny laptop on the coffee table at your side.

“Yes.”

You had often wondered if it was a dream. All you remember is the bright white light and the sound of a shutter, or was it your imagination? You remember always fearing camera flashes. It was only logical that you had imagined it.

The man behind the camera, you know him. You hide his cigarette butts in the bottom drawer just to feel like he’s there. You want him, you need him with all of your being, it’s maddening. He isn’t at fault, he had not been the one to hurt you, it had happened way earlier. 

Sickness they had called you, something that poisons everyone near and dear, a traitor, a snake. What was left was hurt, constant pain from within, but he had made it bearable. 

He had awakened the escape, pure pleasure. No shame, no pain, no thought, just the pure elation of serving others. Caressing the small of your back. Addicted to pleasure you eagerly listen to every word. You wiggle in pleasure breathing in the tar soaked air he exhales, your eyes tear up as his hand pets your clothed back with all the love and care you’ve ever felt in your life, but it never went any further. 

Sex was the same, constant pleasure but no climax. Spread your legs, take them in, fluff their egos, fulfill their every wish, then tell them that you loved it even if you didn’t cum. How would you be able to? Their teeth weren’t chipped and yellowed, their bones didn’t protrude through their skin, their skin didn’t sag into wrinkles, their fingers weren’t long and slender, their second hand smoke didn’t make you gasp for air. 

The true poison was deep seated envy, sadism and self hatred. You can’t tell between what has been screamed into your ears as you were hit and your own thoughts. All you know is that you don’t have a reason to feel bad, you have never experienced a single tragedy in your life, you behave like a wounded victim for attention, you’re a disgrace to the real victims. Their bodies had been physically violated, appendages filling intimate crevasses by manipulation and force. Unlike them you have nothing to feel sorry for, and as sick vermin you are, you came to envy them for their reason to feel pain. 

After the party you fall drunkenly onto shitty stained shag carpet. You lazily turn to the one that carried you there. This is it. Every fuck up, every mistake has lead you to this. This is where it all ends. 

“You could fuck me right now and I wouldn’t remember a thing,” you giggle, voice dripping. 

Suddenly the room is much smaller, you’re standing upright and you’re using all the strength you can muster.

“Rape me,” you threaten without being able to focus on the larger body you’re pushing against a wall. 

“Give me a real reason to feel sorry for myself.”

“Make me a real victim.” 

You break down right then and there. Of course, no one would ever want you, if so then the man behind the camera would’ve given you what you so desperately crave. 

She moved on to the next picture quicker than you’d expected.

In the end neither your words nor the incriminating image had any consequence, what did you expect?

You brought the sickness and the poison that followed upon yourself.

Unlike you, she’d never betray her family.


End file.
